Not So Painless

Look, I been fighting with the man in the mirror  

He don’t flinch when the trigger get nearer  

I was 10 with a dream, now the dream feel fake  

I was 20 with a plan, now the plan feel late  

Every loss got a lesson, every lesson got a cost  

Every win got a body that the streets done lost  

I been numb but the feelin’ still linger  

I been quiet but the silence still echo like a singer  

Tried to love but the love turned venom  

Tried to trust but the trust turned phantom  

I was built for the war, not the peace  

I was made for the scars, not the ease  

So when they ask if the pain ever fade  

I just laugh because the laugh is the only way to stay sane  

Not so painless, but I’m still in the game  

Not so painless, but I’m still in my name