No One Asks

No one asks

All the tasks

Swirl in my head

As I lay in my bed

Looking for solace 

Keep finding malice 

My brain keeps stewing 

Always brewing

No one asks

Counting the things I lack

As my head pounds 

Still doing it's rounds

When others reach out

They just make me want to shout

They offer help

But the strings attached make me want to yelp

No one's listening

My eyes glistening

These feelings I can't ignore

I don't recognize myself anymore

My words they keep twisting

Their empathy missing

The true intentions are a deafening roar

Always made to feel like my needs are a chore

No one's listening 

Feels like I'm auditioning 

For a role where I matter

Every bit of me in tatters

Screaming for acknowledgement 

While they blame it on some intoxicant

They notice the manifestations

But ignore my dictations 

No one asks 

So I've created this mask

Done feeling dumb

Almost completely numb

Always alone in my struggles

A constant juggle

 Expectations 

Frustrations 

No one asks

Everyone attacks

I am their prey

They relish the decay

Blood in their mouths 

Guess the so called help turned south

I guess the tears on my cheeks

Made me look to meek

No one's listening

My head imprisoning

What if I just ran a spike through it

A thought I have had more than I want to admit

Silence finally

Something I need so vitality

All the pieces torn

I feel so worn

No ones listening 

My thoughts sickening

I wish to be dead

Holding on by just a thread

Yet no one's at my door 

That really aches in my core

So alone

My body feels like stone

No one asks

So many weapons within my grasps

A silent fight every day

Or is it just a delay

Of the inevitable 

Because I'm so venerable 

How do you ignore the demons 

When you don't have the reasons 

No one asks

The facade full of cracks

The strength I once felt

Has begun to melt

Grief and loss 

Not something to be hidden with a little gloss

It creeps into your soul

And feeds on the happiness it stole

No one's listening 

Darkness soliciting

I count the ones lost

Of the boundaries others have crossed

And of the opportunities banished

And the support that seems to have vanished 

Of the whispers shared secretly 

Of others acting deceitfully 

No one's listening

 My heart partitioning

A world I once viewed as full of light 

Now seems so full of frights

I always looked to spread kindness 

Maybe that was just blindness 

To the truth

Ignorance in my youth

No one's listening

Yet I'm still transitioning

Someday the grief and pain 

Won't feel so much like a chain

Someday I'll recognize myself again 

Someday when

I won't feel like harming myself is even an option

Will spread kindness without caution

No one asks

But yet someday I will be able to relax

Someday my smile will be real

Less broken I will feel

When that day comes 

I won't be so numb

Someday the lights will shine again

and I will be zen