Nights In Hell

I rise

Unforgetful of the many wrongs done to me

Not blissfully aware of my painful existence

Stuck in a battle of celebrating my melanin

And fearful of what that same melanin may bring

*

The morning light kissing my naked skin

Glistening with sweat of my terror filled sleep

Cries in the night escaping my relentlessly kind lips

Fingers clutching corners of pillows and sheets

Demanding my eyes drink in the safeness of my surroundings

The softness underneath me, olive green embracing me, the warmth of my loves gentle caress

In the night I go to battle

Facing off the whiteness of hooded robes and burning crosses

Beating my fists and feet against the figure of my of captors

Screams rising from within me

Every cell of my body shrieking for freedom

My face bursting rage of the deepest red

Covered and wet with sweat and tears

Knowing there is no one to hear

No one to see

There’s no rescue coming for me

*

In the thickening circle of trees between this horror and the safe of the world

I see the series of knots hanging limply from branches

For some their duties had been already fulfilled

Swinging their strange fruit all around me

My cries losing strength from the rawness in my throat

Whatever hope in my heart also starting to croak

My fists lose their grip, my legs giving out

What resolve, what resilience becoming flooded with doubt

My head drops low and my weight drops heavy

Giving up. Giving in. Sobbing silent and harsh

Bursting laughter rings from hooded monsters lips

It’s booming echo filling my ears

Tearing from me any shred of a will to live

*

Turning my eyes towards the sky

Searching for the defiance I live my life by

The moon only blinks at me, but I can see that she cries

I am one of her nieces, daughter of sister Sun

There’s nothing she can do, no tricks to save my life

We stare at each other vision blurred by our tears

And she shows me my life, all the best of my years

An impossible smile dances swiftly through my eyes

Too brief a moment to reach anymore than that

Glancing at the trees I see the rope meant for me

Straight ahead, dangling and as menacing as can be

I shut my eyes tight as I’m dragged to my death

Terrified and resolved to meet the father of rest

*

When I open my eyes it’s to that bright morning light

To that gentle warmth of my lovers caress

Sister sun saved me, as she does every day

Slowly and softly I brush my tears away

Relaxing my fingers from the pillows and sheets

I roll to the side and watch my lover sleep

“It was all but a dream” as I’m washed with relief

Though some dreams reign true

I count my blessings only being in sleep.

*

One day I hope that these nightmares will end

Both in sleep and awake

That in time for these horrors of life peace will mend.