next episode >

...and yet

why do i keep clicking the button

and dive into the rabbit hole

that is humanity turning into animals

no

worse than animals

because animals merely rely on instinct

and do not truly mean harm

***

[i click through the scenes in my head

replaying and the ones that hit home

start blending into my life]

what could I be searching for?

***

a sort intro to psych 101

an understanding

into what would turn a man

into the monster under the bed

how can there still be any minuscule bit of love inside

after what you did

you tore me apart

without laying a finger on me

***

maybe i hope i can find theories

for why

why you loved them the way you did

and was different with me

or how could two people

exist in one body

my hero

and

the monster

***

because i can't ask you

even if you were still alive

because you would have just lied to me again

or worse

you would have told me the truth

(my ears would have heard lies)

stabbing me

over

and

over

and the scar tissue would have hurt worse

than the two edged truth

piercing my patchwork heart....

***