I used to never wear a helmet or protective padding
my mother could put it on me, but I would strip it right off
because I thought I was invincible
until I saw lightning strike my own backyard during a storm
and — running my fingers down the rain-stained window —
I found a new saviour in what I feared most, because
if you aren’t afraid of God
do you even believe?
The way I pray to lightning
is the way he loves me
always begging to witness its power, its glory, its burnt scars on whatever it can get its grip on —
but never to let it touch you
he only prayed on me — I mean to me when I was far enough away not to hear
unlike my god I do not give a clap of warning
I can light a match as quickly as
I can disintegrate all the bridges
from point you to point me
don’t give me a reason to prove it
unlike my sister the shore does not ask me back when I leave
I surf mountains of waves to find out
my spot in the sunlight on the beach has been handed over to a cliff
and yet no one wants to admit which of us has seen more death
unlike my mother I can hear the whispers about the state of my fingernails but
I don’t see anyone else volunteering to dig my grave for me
tell me my dark circles are showing and
I’ll grip my neck with my fading fingertips —
oh. you meant the ones beneath my eyes
pardon me
I thought we were both talking about the dark rings clutching my throat
nothing about me screams Holy
and yet men still find a way to misinterpret my words
no means yes and
stop means please and
my mind may be numb but my body is not means I want you to help me feel even if it hurts and
I bet you didn’t know Jesus was an alcoholic and so am I and
Mary was raped by an angel of God and I wish I couldn’t say the same and
God is just another shadow to get on my knees for but
I don’t let the rug burns show because now —
now, the only thing I take off is running
About the Creator
alexis weiss
psychology + journalism major; poetry, story writing, copyediting, etc
https://medium.com/@alexisjweiss // https://twitter.com/alexisjweiss
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