Nature vs Nurture

If I told you I was born this way

would you believe me?

Or

would it cross your mind

to take the time

to make the argument of

nature

vs

nurture?

It's a thing.

I mean, who's really born anything?

I guess we are all products of our cultures creation...

I remember when I was 14 

My dad said to me:

"I don't have a problem with homosexuality

I just think it's a product of a society.

It's learnt,

none of us are born that way"

The problem is,

I think part of me believe him

or can at least see where he is coming from.

For example,

if I had never been told that "Straight" was a thing

if society had not nurtured my mind

to be defined

by hetero-normative naratives

and designs

would I still doubt myself every time I'm attracted

to anyone who isn't a CIS man?

If Disney had never introduced me to Prince Charming

would I have spent so much of my life looking for him?

Judging others in his image

"OHHH That chiselled chin!" *swoon*

If the Gay and Lesbian community in my teens

hadn't taught me that bisexual girls

were just using other women

to get attention

would I have been louder?

Less afraid of being seen?

Would Imposter Syndrome even have been a thing?

If we had not been encoded

with a binary program

where each man was a 1

and each woman was a 0

would others still look confused

when I said I loved people

not bodies?

Hearts

not genders?

Would they still ask me

"Man OR woman?"

As if that was the only option.

As if its even about options.

As if we are choosing sides on a sports team.

I don't choose sides,

I choose people.

You see

It's all subjective

and when I am retrospective and reflective

I begin to get perspective.

For example

if I had never heard the word "Queer"

would I have spent my life in fear of being slightly the wrong shade

of normal?

If I also hadn't been fed a story

to be proud of who I am

I probably wouldn't be standing here today.

You see my dad did also say

"You should fight for what you believe in"

and that I should believe in myself;

and who am I to judge a man plagued by contradictions

when that's all this world has taught me too?

So I say to my daughter 

when an older boy snatches a toy from her hand

and she is left wondering what went wrong,

angry at the perpetrator,

I say

"Baby, we're all still learning".

So when asked if I was born this was

if it's nature or nurture

I say

"Well, it is my nature to be nurtured

and all of us are made

by a society that says we're wrong

how ever we were when we came;

and me?

I'm learning to love myself

the best way I know how.

And I'm full of faults and contradictions,

queer quirks and weird infliction's,

brave moves and coded systems,

half step beats and broken rhythms;

and no

I wasn't born this way.

But there's one thing I will tell you

I do love

how well I've been made.