My Will: In Glorious Technicolour
A Poem About an Everyday Pioneer.
I am a vivid pandemonium
In vibrant escalation
A solitary sunbeam
In a prism of fascination
---
I am a crusader for expectation
The steel within the light
A radical that has been set free
Choosing to dance before I fight
---
I am a synesthetic orchestra
Rousing a joyous crowd
A milieu of euphoria
Playing loud and proud
---
I am a kaleidoscope that has burst its banks
An iridescent hope-filled stream
A waterfall of celebration
Inside our fluid, lucid dream
---
I am the illuminated darkness
I am the battle fought and won
Yes, I am here... and this... is me
And I am only just begun.
***
Author's notes added 28.5.2023:
This was the first piece of writing that I posted on Vocal. It followed a rather harrowing time in my life. I was surfacing from a couple of bouts of cancer and thoroughly debilitating chemotherapy. It felt like my faculties were returning, and I wanted to shout about it from every rooftop - actual or digital!
I look back on this now, and, bluntly, this poem sounds ridiculously arrogant. Reading it, I feel like curling up inside, writing to Vocal and asking them to burn its incredibly cringe existence. I won't, though. We live and learn. I am not arrogant enough not to show people that I can write awful poetry. Hell... I often still do!
What I learnt here was that how you feel inside and why does not always translate. There are many elements of writing, and simply describing how you feel, how you are ready to take on the world, that you have discovered a confidence that had been shattered for years, does not matter to most people. Writers have a responsibility to hook into the hearts and minds of readers. This is a symbiosis that has to be respected. This poem is not, at its heart, respectful of this.
Hopefully, I have gotten better... or at the very least... hopefully, I am more aware of what matters.
About the Creator
Caroline Jane
Warm-blooded vertebrate, domesticated with a preference for the wild. Howls at the moon and forages on the dark side of it. Laughs like a hyena. Fuelled by good times and fairy dust. Writes obsessively with no holes barred.
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Comments (7)
You say this piece sounded arrogant, I’m going to say good, AS IT SHOULD. Poetry shouldn’t be humbled. Poetry shouldn’t soften its blows. Poetry shouldn’t apologize for provoking emotions. The more loud, colorful, and aggressive- the better. Poetry should demand the attention of its audience, otherwise it loses its appeal. So I say this is a fan-fucking-tastic piece. If anything it could get louder! More cocky. (lol) I love it. 🥰 you earned a follower. Please don’t blunt your voice, let the edges show <3
This was powerful even before I read the A/N. I'm so glad it was resurrected from the graveyard and shared. 💖
This piece was incredibly raw and heartfelt, I like the thought behind the piece. I hope it's not rude to say that my favourite part was actually the authors note form you. I loved the relatable realism that you take with yourself as you navigate visiting an older piece that makes you cringe! I think we all have one of those, but I love how real you are in sharing that sentiment! That part alone makes me want to sneak into some of your newer pieces now and see how that voice translated into current pieces! Great work Caroline!
This was insanely beautiful. Listen to your supporters, amazing job! Coming from someone who mostly writes about her feelings and what she's going through, people do care!
Oh. my. God. I love this and I completely, utterly and wholeheartedly disagree with your self-critique. This is absolutely fabulous. I see the power of a woman who has faced unimaginable darkness and, not only made it through to the other side, but kicked the fucking walls down on the way out. There's not one ounce of arrogance in here, and even if there was, it's damn well earned. Be proud. You deserve it! Btw. I found this because I was searching for something from the Vocal graveyard (See Donna Fox's TS), and I knew I'd find something amazing from you. I'd like to share this in Donna's challenge, but will only do so if you say it's okay. Let me know.
"I am the illuminated darkness I am the battle fought and won Yes, I am here... and this... is me And I am only just begun." I, for one, don't see this as arrogant in the least! Sometimes, you just know you have been a victor...it's your moment and relish it! No apologies. It was your fight. Not theirs. LOVED IT!
Lovely!!!💕