My Shadow

My Shadow

Deep inside the mind she lives That part of me that never gives

She loves only herself she wants what she wants

She's selfish and cunning she loves to taunt

She is sexy and fun she loves to play

She will break your heart then run away

She knows not why she does what she does

Why she never allows herself to be loved

She dreams of a time she'll be happy and free

If only she knew when that time might be

She looks to the world and in others to find

The happiness and freedom she so desires

As hard as she tries as far as she's looked

The happiness evades her, nothing she tries works

Is it money or fame, is love or acceptance

What is she needs to fill all this emptiness

She tries to numb out the pain and sorrow

Toxic coping skills in hopes for a better tomorrow

She engages in behavior others would judge

So she isolates herself and holds a grudge

Each morning she smiles and masks her emotions

Suppressing the memories that cause such commotion

She judges herself on every level

She's too fat not pretty and slightly mental

She assumes that the world sees her this way

She buries all of the feelings and continues her charade

She has made poor choices and hurt good people

She never intended to become so evil

She's been abused and abandoned by those she trust

She shut down inside, her self esteem turning to dust

She wants to be loved deep down inside

Yet can't break down the walls she's built to survive

She protected herself by by shutting down her heart

She knows it must heal but where does she start

She has this soft side it doesn't show often

It doesn't last long but when it happens it's awesome

She smiles and laughs as real happiness does

She lets down her guard and is able to love

She's sees only the good in everyone but herself

She never judges anyone on their past, looks or wealth

Why must she be so hard on herself

So full of guilt and shame it's effecting her health

At last the day it finally arrived

Spirit broke through. he showed her the light

He showed her the good she has in her heart

He showed her the strength that had gotten her this far

He showed her the need to love herself

He guided her through what was surely hell

He opened her eyes to the truth of the matter

He showed her the exit to her never-ending battle

She had lived in a prison she created herself

Not knowing the key to break free was her own self worth

She forgave herself first forgiving others would follow

She grew on the inside and let love fill the hollow

She no longer feels empty, guilty or full of shame

She has released the past with no need to blame

She continues to grow to integrate with the light

Happiness and joy havenow come into sight of

The future is bright with so many blessings

Allowing spirit to guide while learning her lessons

She shares her experiences with those who are lost

Teaching them the agony their self hate will cause

She's opened her heart, allows herself to be loved

Remaining grateful to Spirit who guides from above

There can be no true happiness without love for yourself

Integrate your two sides and see their true worth

They are both part of you, treat them with kindness

You were created by Spirit with both the light and darkness