My Realization

I had a thought today, an epiphany if you will.

Keep in mind that I’m a mother of four

Youngest is fourteen.

It started a few days ago.

I was home, and alone.

I was alone.

Everyone was gone.

I sat on my bed not knowing what to do.

I played on my phone then decided to lie down.

Generally, I lie down in my room to hide…

But I didn’t have to.

I was alone.

I still didn’t know what to do.

Well, today we were all in the living room.

Watching a show that someone had chosen.

Until one by one they disbursed or fell asleep.

I kept watching the show, not knowing what to do.

No one was hungry, no one needed anything.

I was alone.

I just sat there.

But, where was I supposed to be?

What was I supposed to do? 

And then it hit me…  I don’t know me.

I don’t know what to do without someone telling me.

I thought I knew me, but I guess I don’t.

Again, I was alone.

But I have no idea how to BE alone…