My Own Worst Enemy

I stumble, I trip, I fall, I slip

From trying too hard at times,

More I try the clumsier I am

Must step between the lines.

***

Always been socially awkward

Truely I don’t fit in this world,

Guaranteed to seem like a fool

Should be a boy, not a girl.

***

A total lack of confidence

In any social setting,

Doesn’t get more awkward

Than with me, I’m betting.

***

Of course, this is all hidden

Hidden down deep inside,

Not for public viewing

To let you see, no I’d die.

***

I struggle so terribly

Prefer to hang at home,

Love my own company

Call it imposter syndrome.

***

Once behind closed doors

I can totally be me,

No crippling anxiety

I am absolutely free.

***

Unfortunately the older I am

The worst my anxiety gets,

Happy to stay home bound

Just me and my pets.

***

Society is so judgemental

Judged for how you look,

Clothes you are wearing

Your posts on Facebook.

***

But deep down inside

I have this gnawing feeling,

Lack off confidence

My happiness it’s stealing.

***

Judgemental Society aside

I am my own worst enemy,

Anxiety and guilty feelings

Leave me with no energy.

***

I’m slowly becoming a hermit

I love the days I can’t face,

The big wide World outside

No beings from the human race.

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Originally posted on Medium