My Nonlinear Relationship with Women

before i start this

know that by the final word

she will have killed me

—

born inside chaos

my first lullaby was noise

disorder raised me

—

my mother silent

i cut the band from her hands

respect for the lost

—

divorce papers wait

while a woman at the bar

blames mercury’s mood

—

my daughter newborn

fitting whole within my hands

small and turtle-faced

—

she laughs beside me

beautiful for no reason

both of us married

—

seven days to wed

fearful of her shifting moods

bride or disorder

—

mrs. hazel sighs

i cannot sit still or hush

my body riots

—

she broke me once young

now she asks me to trust her

memory says no

—

i do not know how

only that one day i’ll die

likely for a woman