My Love (and Hate) for Alcohol

You’re the fix that I cannot have,


and that lover who cherishes me.


I feel like I need you sometimes


because you make me feel free.

.

On countless occasions,


you’ve helped me forget.


The pain, the torment,


even the regret.

.

You made me say things that I shouldn’t, and


you even helped numb me.


I thought I felt good, but on the inside


I was in unbearable agony.

.

There were days returning from work,


when I could not wait.


I knew in a few sips that


You’d help my feelings abate.

.

I’ve hid you from my husband,


watered your existence down from friends,


the family doesn’t know, but


to this day we’ve yet to make amends.

.

Firsthand, I’ve seen you ruin marriages,


destroy happy lives, and be a tragic story’s ending.


Still, I want you despite the fact


You are completely tormenting.

.

When I don’t have you,


I want some kind of fix.


Cigarette, liquor,


any drink if it’s mixed.

.

You’re the mate who beats me,


yet I keep coming back to you.


I swear that I will be rid of you one day,


and it’ll be in some kind of coup.

.

Despite my yearning,


I love me more.


I’ve had enough of your existence,


you’re more than I can endure.

.

If you think you can control me,


then I’ve had the last laugh.


Because I know that in the end,


I’m on the right path.

.

This poem was originally published on Medium and CrystalsWritingRoom.