My Last Thanksgiving With Dad

If only I had known that this would have been our last Thanksgiving dinner. I would have spent more time sitting beside you at the dining room table instead of running back and forth to the kitchen to prepare the turkey, heat the garlicky mashed potatoes, and mouth-watering gravy.

If only I had known, I would have just sat beside you and watched you enjoy your very last roast turkey meal. At least I know there was laughter, happiness, and the sharing of stories with you. You smiled, you laughed, and you enjoyed being with family.

But the reality was that earlier, I saw you waiver as you stood up from the chair. I saw that your legs were too weak to hold you up. The sound of the wheeze puffs out of your lungs.

Oh, Dad, your spirit was high and strong, yet your aging body was being cruel to you.

If only I had known, I would have taken more photos of you with me and the family. I would have put your favorite music on and swayed with you in the chair back and forth. Our bodies would have moved with the beat to Rod Stewart’s catchy melody. But duty called, and I needed to be sure that the meal ran smoothly so you didn’t get too tired.

Little did we know a change was coming, and we’d be sitting in a hospital bed ten days later. How cruel the fates are, as Christmas was your favorite holiday, and it was also the worst to come. I had prayed and hoped that what I was fearing wouldn’t becoming a reality. How unfair life can be. This haunts me still, if only things could have turned out differently.

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Thank you for reading.

This was originally posted on Medium.