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My Insidious Companion

Her voice dripping with mock pity: Too late now. You always give up. That’s who you are.

By Mika OkaPublished 2 months ago 1 min read
My Insidious Companion
Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

There are days when her silence feels deafening and days when she won’t shut up. She’s the shadow self, the one who thrives on my own self-doubt. Her words, insidious and insistent, always trying to pull me under.

But today, I won’t let her. Today, I choose to fight.

Who are you? You’re me, but… different.

She smirks: We’ve shared every scar, every doubt. You know me. I’m the voice that whispers “give up” when things get tough. Remember? It kept you safe.

Safe? Or stuck? I’m tired of feeling like a failure! People care about me, I know it.

Lies! It’s easier alone. Trust me, nobody wants the real you.

Shut up! Back then, I had no choice. But not anymore! Facing pain is scary, but I won’t hide anymore.

Her voice dripping with mock pity: Too late now. You always give up. That’s who you are.

No! I choose different. It’s time to believe in myself, like others do in me. We can find happiness, together, but not like this.

Surprise flickering in her eyes: You… really believe that?

Yes, I do. I believe that we can do that.

It’s an inner conflict that resides within countless hearts, wearing a thousand faces bearing a million stories and hidden behind closed doors.

©Emika Oka

Thank you for reading 🖤

Previously published on From The Corner of My Mind

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Stream of ConsciousnessMental HealthFree Verse

About the Creator

Mika Oka

Sharing her unique perspective on the world as a hearing-impaired autistic person with bipolar disorder despite the challenges.

https://ko-fi.com/emikaoka

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Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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Comments (5)

  • Murali2 months ago

    I also struggle with inner conflict (insecure and hatred). Most of the time, I'm unable to overcome these feelings, and I don't know why.

  • Kodah2 months ago

    This was soo captivating! Love your work Mika! 💌

  • Shirley Belk2 months ago

    Deep with a side dish of hope. Wishing that hope wins out

  • This was extremely powerful! Loved it!

  • Manisha Dhalani2 months ago

    This feels familiar. Hope you're okay!

Mika OkaWritten by Mika Oka

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