My First Time Smoking

Misty, smoke filled the car.

Home was so far,

Miles and miles we drove.

With each hard turn my body flowed with its rhythm.

Oh, I’m next, 

Blunt now in my hand,

I inhale,

My body filled with smoke,

My head on fire,

My skin numb

And my body is calm.

I exhale.

Blunt still in my hand,

I inhale 

My body filled with smoke,

My head on fire,

My skin numb

And my body is calm.

I exhale.

Passing it along.

To faded memories

Faded people

Surprised at my current self,

Grudges are no longer.

People telling me I should stop smoking.

Putting guilt on something that brings me relief

Blunt in my hand,

I inhale.

My body filled with smoke,

My head on fire,

My skin numb,

And my body is calm.

I exhale.

Leaving with the feeling of maybe I should stop.

So I do for awhile,

And it’s fine.

Maybe even great. 

I like weed.

Simply put.

I don't have the need

There’s just desire. 

Simply put.

I don’t remember the first time I smoked.

I just realized.

There’s just pieces 

Of broken down scenery.

Dizziness,

Sex.

Arguments.

Places I barely wanted to be,

But then again I really didn’t want to be anywhere. 

Nowhere

The planet Earth abducted me from my natural state

And I’ve held a grudge ever since. 

They tore me away from the abyss

To come to this

To fix a mess

I may or may have not started

I don’t have a memory of the first time I smoked.

I do remember how it makes me feel.

Thoughts become slower, 

Life begins to feel softer.

Like a pillow,

Or a hug from your mom.

Before you knew her flaws

And her shortcomings.

The hug of a Goddess. 

When you thought she could do no wrong

She’s an angel.

Then you realize she’s no different from you.

She’s a Goddess in her own right

But she’s not your Goddess.

She’s a woman.

Like me. 

She can’t see everything

She can’t fix everything,

And she has emotions.

Just like me.

I used to say “I would never smoke”

Now I smoke like 4-5 times a day.

JUDGE ME.

Or

Don’t.

I’m not concerned with the remarks of others anymore.

I’ve heard it all before

Maybe even more.

My life has been a series of contradictions.

I’ve learned to simply shut up,

Mind my own business

And ignore the ones who choose to judge me.

Blunt still in my hand

I inhale 

My body filled with smoke,

My head on fire,

My skin numb

And my body is calm.

I exhale.