My Feelings and I

It's so hard to expalin why I'm sad. This pass year is the worst I have ever had. So hard to explain why I'm always crying. I just know it feeling like I'm dying

Maybe a mixture of things that have built up over time. Somethings I did to myself that I can't deny. If only I can be stronger and have a better mind

I don't want to feel.

It was a bittersweet exchange. You got my love and I got your pain. You got my time and I gain your loss. I gave you all of me to be repayed in disloyal tragedy.

I cried for you every single day. I would get on my knees and pray your safe. Begged all the Gods and hoped your were alive. And you shattered my heart and crumbled my mind.

I don't want love.

I wish I was pretty. I wish I was smart. I wish I built myself up instead of tearing myself apart. I wish I had a mom who loved me for who I am. I wish I didn't miss who I was. I wish that I could sleep at night. I wish that I didnt have to fight my own mind. I wish I could love me..... sometimes

I wish all wishes came true.

Every night is war for me. My mind wont rest but my body wants to sleep. At night all teh heartache sets in and leaves me torn. Between wanting to live but yearning to die.

I've been hurting a little to much lately. Yet, feeling so empty. I have alla the air around me yet its hard to breath. I never knew my lungs were so heavy

I don't want to hurt anymore

Can't stand my own relfection. Can't tell anyone the truth. Keep it together you must be perfection. No one will love you when your you.

All you do is lie. You lie to famliy, lie to your friends, and lie to your lover. Are you a lying because your scared. Do you believe that the true you is just too much for the world to bear. Or are you just lying to yourself too

I can't stand liars

My feelings and I. We will never agree. One wants to be safe while the other wants to be set free. One dwells in the dark while the other chases the light. One has given up yet the other one fights.

Both have been hurt. Been beaten and brusied. Been shunned and used. Both know pain and both know what it is to suffer. Both know what its like to have an abusive mother. However my feelings and I. Will always me at war

One wants to survive and one begs for no more

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Thank you to all who chose to read this story. Please let me know if you liked it by clicking the heart or leaving a tip it would much appreciated.

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Once again thankn you so much

Sincerly~ Alyse