My experiences with Dissociation

I first experienced the 'Shimmer in the mirror' when undiagnosed, many years ago, on a solo writing retreat at Victor Harbour, South Australia. I took photos of the reflection. 'Many years ago' meant I had to wait to have the film developed. I discovered that all along, the 'Shimmer' was me! My response was curious terror.

I will briefly reflect on my symptoms. Though there are commonalities, each episode is unique to the individual. My Dissociation is a response to trauma and distress. I experience:

- Depersonalisation and disconnection

- Lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions, and identity

- Regression into sensory deprivation with progressive loss or disruption of sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell

These also occur beyond the mirror, which I manage using similar grounding and sensory enhancement techniques.

My most intense Dissociation episodes involve feeling (believing) as though I'm watching myself from outside my body. Unlike many others, I have no amnesia before or after a Dissociative episode. Fortunately, I can feel the onset, no matter how sudden, and immediately implement strategies.