There isn't ever a place I can call my home
so i'll just stand outside, wondering if they would still be smiling and having simple conversations without having a thought of me in mind.
sometimes I wonder if they would even think of me at night. If they would think that it was their fault because they have failed me and me feeling like I failed them and I didn't want to be a disappointment. I feel like i'm already dead but how does one get over having a death of their own child and not even wondering what causes it and not even wondering what i'm thinking about that day or even asking how my day went. Thoughts cause death and that's what killed me.