My Attempt

My attempt

~ changes change my changed me, for the better, for the worst, I can't clarify ~

I observe you,

I gaze at you,

I admire you,

I need you,

I want you,

I hate you,

I love you,

I cry for you,

I think about you,

I see you...

You held me from a distance,

You held me closely,

You pushed me away,

But you still took me in

when no one did.

You cry,

You get discouraged,

You get furious,

You get upset,

You get sad,

You feel threatened,

You've been scarred,

You feel all the emotions

I wish you didn't.

Your smile radiates hope,

Your existence was my greatest gift,

I could have never asked for more,

As you've given me enough.

You care for me,

Despite not being cared for.

You choose to stay,

even when everyone turned their backs.

I hate you but I love you.

I want to tell you but I can't.

Im afraid.

I can't imagine life without you,

For you were

and always will be in my heart.

You try every day

to work things out.

You break your bones to live each day.

Your blood, sweat and tears resemble the rain.

The rain I get sad by looking at,

but the downpour that reassures,

the beauty life has to offer.

Too innocent to die.

Too much to attempt it.

Life is scary and will always be,

But with you,

It seemed fulfilling.

The cruelty divides itself,

in my mind and my heart.

The memories find its place,

in my life.

Why?

How?

When?

Where?

I am left with no clue.

I get frustrated,

I get depressed,

I get lost,

In the dark forest full of shadow,

Whilst my silhouette being reflected

by the moonlight through the stream.

Proving my existence.

Perhaps,

I won't have the answer.

Perhaps,

I don't need too.

As you are my answer,

Invincible and ascertaining.

I love you, dad...