Mummy in deep thoughts 💜

As we lay down the blanket for us to feast on together.

Time together.

Our time.

Mine and his.

Mummy bear and baby bear time.

Still...

Still time is so prescious.

We feel the grass at the core of our feet.

The touch feels good as we both feel the grass of nature.

We feel the ground.

The Earth.

Mother nature.

Grounding ourselves on the earthly grass.

Seeing the Skye as clear as can be.

Warm with the sun at its fullest.

Yet time, this time is so precious.

As I watch you smile.

Copying mum with her tree love ways.

Sinking her feet into the grass to feel grounded, to feel peace with you.

Peace I am here with you my little bear.

Your feet come out wanting to join in the nature love with me.

That little smile you have in your face tells me so much.

I see you, I see you my precious boy.

Time is so precious now you are four.

As we sit to have our feast you look at what I eat.

copying me with wanting the same foods as me what cutie you are.

Then with A flicker of an eye you are up making friends playing in the park.

Mummy sits she makes sure her eyes are on you giving you space.

freedom with your friends.

But it's hard as I have been so use to being so close.

As I put my shades on and watch you run.

I learn one thing.

One element I must understand and take in.

One element that I fear will come to soon.

Step by step I must let you fly.

School Starts in September clubs will follow.

Then years will go even more quicker than they already have.

Soon you will not need me as much, but it was never a case about you needing me my darling, it was a case about how much I need you.

Because as I feel those goosebumps on my back as I write this piece.

You changed my life for the better.

You made me who I was meant to be.

You are the reason I write, why I self publish you taught me to follow my heart.

You are and always will be my precious boy my miracle child, the baby I was always meant to have.

I looked at it today again the photos of when you were young, when you were in my belly and how ill I was.

And I will always say I would do it all again every last seizure because you gave me the strength I did not have untill you my little wiggler.

Yea I remember the name I first gave you what I still call you my little wiggler.

but I know one element and that is to let you grow because you my darling boy you will have the world at your feet, you will have it all.

The start I gave you in private education, the home schooling, the savings every last element I did it because I want you to have the best start to life.

And as I write about you, he will always come to mind when that time comes to talk about your dad, I will be ready and you will know how much he really does love you and always has.

but weather he will be in your life as the years go by faster I do not know! All I know is he is somewhere out there healing for you.

Time will tell and I hope and pray that this will be enough.

My darling wiggler as you sleep tonight, I will be watching over you in the next room, I will always be there for you always 💜

For as I say time is ever so precious.💜

Yes May is here all, and I have just wrote a deep piece from my soul. 💜