Motherhood Is Pain

I wake up many times at night

There’s darkness, crying, pain…
Please don’t bite me again!

The day starts:

more crying.

I turn the light on,

He sees it’s me.

His eyes light up,
His gums show up,
His tiny hands stretch all high up.

He grabs me tight.

A bit too tight.

Pinches every inch of my skin that he can reach.
Refusing to lie down for a diaper change.

Oh, a cuddle break!

So sweet…
Or was it just an excuse to pull my hair?
Please put Mama’s glasses down!

The whole day, I’m running around with him

Too lazy to crawl, too eager to sit

He wants to walk holding my hands:

my back feels broken!

With aching joints,

I don't feel like a person anymore.

Sneeze, Burp, Cough?

In Mama’s face.
Food, snot, unmentionable fluids?

On Mama’s clothes.

And before bed?

A lot more crying.

But also

A lot more than crying.

There’s biting, scratching, punching...

And I know,
I think I know,

He's not doing it on purpose

But it still hurts.

Sometimes motherhood just hurts!

Yet when I see that gummy smile
My heart feels fuller

than it ever has.