MISSED FITS

why am i

so desperately

trying to fit in,

blend in,

sit in,

and even "trend" in

with crowds of polar opposites to myself,

wasting the time that would otherwise be deposits into myself

at all costs avoiding living out, the missed fits

fearing difference, almost pretending i don't even exist

hoping to be missed in the mix of the crowds

juggling a mix of masks, hoping i pick right

hoping no one will spot the difference in the mist under the clouds

hoping no one will stop me with diffidence in their voice

because rarely do i question my choice-

i've become a master of disguise, hiding in plain sight

but at the cost of my real face,

there's a mask for everything, no matter the place

each with its own task on my list

all to cover up, just how miss-fitting a misfit actually is

just what, and just how many, missed fits actually exist-

i'm traveling a distance, collecting near misses,

unraveling myself as i go further, and further

one after another, the layers come off

and at a distance without any witnesses,

incognito mode turns off

only as long as the lights are not on-

but there is one place i fit in, the last i've been,

inside this mask-

i sit, and i stand, in this mask

there's no where i can't go, and never the need to blend in

no one needs to know-

how many are in this collection

there are no trends in these these masks

they do the fitting in for me,

there are no missed fits in these masks