Misery Loves Company

Misery loves company,

And maybe that’s why we became friends.

She doesn’t call me her friend though.

“We’re bullshit soulmates”, she says.

I think that fits for two people so in tune.

The moments when our conversations go the way they do.

“It’s just….

“I know!”

From one depressed soul to another,

Hearts linking, and pooling strength.

There for each other in turns.

That’s what it means to be bullshit soulmates.

When hopeless to great, to just laugh at the universe.

That’s what bullshit soulmates means.

I lean on to her, and she on me.

Within our two, we have place to be.

No judgment, no questions, nothing dire at stake.

No small talks, no smiles that are fake.

That’s what it means to have a bullshit soulmate.

“You know what it feel like….”

“..... like the world is caving onto you.”

She picked up the phone and I could hear it in her voice.

Meant it when she said, “I cannot do this any longer.”

“Just come to me, i’ll hold you and we’ll lie in bed all day”

Silence!

I could hear it and I should have rushed to her.

I’m rushing to her but a soulless vessel I will find.

Maybe I might even still be able to see the scars on her arms.

Maybe they’ll talk of the way she died sitting by her.

Maybe she’ll hear me cry over her.

That’s what it meant to be bullshit buddies.

No longer to be understood, I must add.

I’m afraid I let you down, my friend.

Misery loves company but it’s particular in it’s choice.

Oh! What a conundrum you have left behind.

My soulmate, I feel but half now.

Will you see me now as I am.

Lost on the bay of depression with no on to console.

More than sharing of pain, I miss your warm embrace.

Your little vessel filled with so much strength.

This soulless one I cry upon now I cold to the touch.

I could never have imagined this would hurt so much.

The way your lips are so pale.

Do you feel my need to to take you in a warm embrace.

Did not the burdens double, now that you’re gone.

But in this, i will find some solace.

for , my bullshit buddy, your misery has ended.

I cannot find the words to tell you the size of whole that is left,

The one that was filled by your smiles.

Did you not see me as the blade split veins?

Did you not see me cry over what i have now lost?

Oh! What a world i find myself part of.

If only i’d been a better friend,

Heard the pain, not only, but rushed to your side.

Oh! What can be done now, my friend.

I have lost the comfort of your gentle hand.

I see no other way to end but with you again.

Wait for me now, on the other end.