May 12th, 2023

You texted me last night, so much, but I was too high for any of it. And so busy. I was with someone. You said you needed me; it wasn’t anything serious even, it was silly. You needed me so you could open a message from someone else? So that I could tell you what to say.

I once loved you so hard. It’s not that I don’t now, but I was really in love with you once. If you asked me now, I’d still say I would, but once upon a time, I would have laid my life on the line for you. It’s dramatic, I know. You did save my life though; I think, on numerous occasions. In some more than others, but still, you did, and I may never explain it to you, not properly, but I know it.

I used to be quite co-dependent on(?with? For?) you; I think it’s come around now, it’s you to me. I normally wouldn’t mind it, I kinda don’t right now, not really, but like everything, there’s a limit I can take. I do everything for you, always have. Why would you say I’ve got to get out of XXXXXXX? Why do you 'joke' you must take me away from my friends? Why is it, when I have a life, you become bothered? You can trust me, and you can count on me, but you cannot depend on me. I’d not love to discuss my emotional and general instability but although I pride myself on my loyalty and ability to provide for my friends and family, I will not be held to it. I do so because I like to, and I want to, and I can. You may hope I will help, and nine times out of ten I will do so, but do not expect it, and more importantly, do not require it from me.