Magnum Opus

In a roasting pan, filled to the brim with twigs and leaves

Add wild fungus, a half eaten sandwich, a handful of packing peanuts, and a perished candy bar wrapper (tip: check your local park!)

Add foraged mud to cover ingredients (whatever is available nearby, don't be afraid to help it along with some water or milk if need be).

Don't be alarmed if your mud has unpleasant odor - the intensity of common contaminants such as gasoline, raw sewerage, brake fluid, bovine adrenaline, spoiled insulin, formaldehyde, barbeque grease, liquid fertilizer, mortician's balm, urinal cakes - will soften through cooking process and add wonderful depth of flavour.

Season with prosperity, hubris, and rapacious folly.

Pre-heat the oven for 30-40 years.

Roast for millennia.

Remove pan, allow to rest.

Serves none.

(keeps for eternity in the vacuum of space)