Magenta

I used to identify as the in-between

Would look up at birds and wonder what their purpose was

Birds only see in shades of pink

Well they see in much more than that

But those colors don't exist to us yet

They must be earned

At elevations we aren't light enough for

Have to let the burdens go first

My first fist-fight was over the fact

that magenta is more purple than pink

And I tried to find evidence in my bruised knuckles afterwards

For self-defense

To show what had already been told

We fight for things we will never truly own but wish to

So no Magenta is mine

Is my word for when there aren't any

Is my mood when you won't understand

Is a mix of something

I am

a mix of something

I contain magentitudes

And no one person has met them all

Has seen my shades

I used to long for that

For someone to know me so deeply

That they could navigate the pieces of light's spectrums bouncing through my bones

But I think

Just like when someone asks our favorite color

We are made to choose

So

When I pull myself out of the oven

Reds fading, hot and ready

They will pick the hardened edges

or

the softer centers

Will only put on their plate

That which will fill them up more

Will be easiest to swallow

And slide down a pinkish throat

I tell everyone that purple is my favorite color

You can find it in every room

of my identity

It has its shades but it's easy on the eyes

Can be a bit bright

But is identifiable

Simplified

I use magenta now

For the more powerful things

For that which only I can handle

And celebrate

The title of my first book

The leaves of my favorite plant when they are well-watered

The sticky note template of a someday tattoo

that I may never commit to

Because it is all already part of me

All already all of me

You see

If you hold that purple paper in a higher place

To keep it warm for just a moment

In the center of some sunlighted window

The light might hurt your eyes but you'll fight through it

To see in but not through a bit better

To see shadow

Exists purely to accentuate light

Purple as prism to the reality of I

It will reveal something else

Something other

Something

Magenta.