Madness

Tears run down my face

like rain trickling from the clouds.

Drip, drip…

A storm brews within my mind,

thunder echoing through my ears.

Or is it the sounds of sobs

coming from within the depths of my soul—

the moans of anguish

overcoming me.

Broken into bits and pieces,

I am no longer whole.

Confusion erodes my mind,

forgetting why I’m here,

where I’m going,

what comes next.

I’m tired of feeling

like this life is nothing but a test.

If I’ve truly failed,

can I close my eyes and die?

No.

Life is torture incarnate…

making us face every pain

and feel every misery.

It cracks my sanity,

but I keep stumbling forth

like a zombie.

If I could sew my eyes shut,

scream until my lungs bleed…

would I finally see?

Is there something worth living for?

Is there a reason for being?

Or are we all just here

to feel the sting of loss?

Love is only a dream;

there is no reality.

Linear voids keep me tethered to this path,

a descent into madness.

And, alas,

I am trapped in this tomb

of my own making.

Bang, bang.

Can you hear me

pounding on the walls of my cell?

Wishing someone would save me

from this hell.

Silence

I have so many words and voices,

sounds and thoughts

floating through my brain,

and they’re never going to stop.

They keep me awake at night.

I want to shout it from the rooftops—

all the things,

all the things that I feel,

all the ways that I want to be.

But I have to keep it to myself.

I have to hold these thoughts

in silence.

Because nobody cares.

When it comes down to everything,

there’s really nobody there.

And all the thoughts,

all the dreams,

all the hopes,

all the things

that flow through my mind endlessly

are only here

just for me.

But I want to share them.

I want to shout them.

I want somebody else to see

all these things

that are inside me.

Instead,

I think about saying things—

to you,

to them,

to someone else.

But again,

I keep it all locked inside my head,

where it eats away at my sanity

and makes it so that all I can see

are these stories playing out.

Maybe they’ll happen.

But I have my doubts.

So I’ll sit in silence,

hoping that someday

there will be somebody

who really wants

to listen to me.