loving

loving you doesn’t feel like love

in my empty bed.

the night’s been cold

since you left.

it doesn’t get warmer

you just get used to it.

you muffle the screams

and swallow the tears

and curse your heart

for believing.

you wonder what love is.

if it is the cavern in your chest

or the echoes of a memory

that completed you

but for a fleeting moment.

you wonder if it was worth it.

the black circles under your eyes.

the lines on your forehead.

the scars on your heart.

the longing in your throat

that makes it hard to swallow.

is that what i get for loving you?