Looking Back

There was always something off,

Reactions that were wrong for the moment,

Or a complete lack of them.

Only an adult observing others

Could have understood that.

When I hug you, you pull away.

When I speak to you, you seal your lips.

I'm touched, yet you're indifferent.

One must show emotions

At the proper moment.

She said I lack empathy

But it was her feelings she first discarded,

Then judged and scorned.

I must always embody specific roles and qualities

Restricting my individuality.

It's impossible to concede to her demands.

I've been without parents since I was fourteen.

They emotionally checked out long ago.

The closer I tried to get, the more they pulled away.

Then they claimed I wasn't close - what a joke!

I was never the right fit for them, as they already had someone else.

And I, still alive, watched it all unfold.

Slowly, I developed survival skills.

Skills that others lack because they have the others

Who supported them in every endeavour

Since their teenage years.

Everyone's judging me, saying I hate my parents.

Parents who emotionally abandon their children,

They shouldn't even be called parents

And I shouldn't be called a daughter,

At least not theirs.