Long Distance and Too Close

It’s difficult to be present when you’re just words on a screen,

a glitching voice in a machine,

buried somewhere

behind a screen.

-

The severed bond was clear, despite the tangling of wires

there once was a passion comparable to fire

which now has become

cold.

-

It’s threatening to expire.

-

A mild insomnia, blue screens fill

blue days and navy nights

nothing refreshing, nothing new

no felt expressions,

I still feel blue

a world view that’s un-renewed

-

Digitised food for the heart and mind

panic attacks not far behind

the miserable prepare work for the miserable

the most exhausting chain of mankind

-

I check my messages each hour,

praying for warmth

then turn my phone off dejected,

discouraged and bored…

-

Scorched red eyes

watch every step,

so there’s no energy left

always feeling bereft,

there’s nothing

left to uplift, sleeping

body numb

but feeling adrift

-

-the silhouette of a past I still miss

arms can’t reach

quite far enough-

-

Don’t cry now, hold it together,

don’t cry now; a mantra repeated

feeling like feelings are over-reactions

a familiar pain all over the body

as nearby screams and threats of violence

stick like pins in the nervous system

(kiri, kiri, kiri)

soon to be overblown.

-

A brutal cold after the fire,

a final rush of warmth.

-

Your shattered screen,

my ruptured spleen

soon to shut down.