I wake up, bathe and trying to dress up
Waving my hands against my steamed mirror
Wondering about what today may have in its hands
As I stepped out with my headphones, that's a new trend
Click the play button on my phone
Hoping my thoughts would leave me alone
Thought of being alone and on my own
Thoughts of panic when someone invades my mind, my home
Addiction left, I kicked him out
Guess who opened the door and called him back?
Some battles I fight, no blood spilled
Just a house of mind with so many doors built
The black room I have has so many demons in place
I don't tell no one, not even till date
Calling for help but nobody came
Maybe it's because my lips didn't move, they remained the same
Came home, in bed, at the ceiling I gaze
Calling Big guy to come help me, I pray
All I get is a silent response
I guess, even he wants me to take the walk alone
My genetic donors, I don't tell them about this case
Cause I fear they wouldn't understand my pain
Blades, on my jugular could take all this away
But I can't do that, I guess cowardice saves
Sometimes I wonder, am I alone in this struggle?
Am I the only one who looks into the mirror
Searching and asking questions about my demeanor
I sold my self short, I committed self treason
Always wonder who reads all my poems
Did they get the messages I wanted for them?
Did they only marvel at the rhyming of words?
Or would they ever understand that I am loosing myself?
I wish I could open all my doors but the screw aren't loose
Even in therapy I am scared of being misjudged too
Back to bottling it all with caps on
But how long can I have all this in?
Decade of my life blurred now in sight
I wish I could sit with people who know me, insight
I want them close and far at the same time, my folks
Like a lone wolf, a wolf who has to walk alone