Lone Wolf

I wake up, bathe and trying to dress up

Waving my hands against my steamed mirror

Wondering about what today may have in its hands

As I stepped out with my headphones, that's a new trend

Click the play button on my phone

Hoping my thoughts would leave me alone

Thought of being alone and on my own

Thoughts of panic when someone invades my mind, my home

Addiction left, I kicked him out

Guess who opened the door and called him back?

Some battles I fight, no blood spilled

Just a house of mind with so many doors built

The black room I have has so many demons in place

I don't tell no one, not even till date

Calling for help but nobody came

Maybe it's because my lips didn't move, they remained the same

Came home, in bed, at the ceiling I gaze

Calling Big guy to come help me, I pray

All I get is a silent response

I guess, even he wants me to take the walk alone

My genetic donors, I don't tell them about this case

Cause I fear they wouldn't understand my pain

Blades, on my jugular could take all this away

But I can't do that, I guess cowardice saves

Sometimes I wonder, am I alone in this struggle?

Am I the only one who looks into the mirror

Searching and asking questions about my demeanor

I sold my self short, I committed self treason

Always wonder who reads all my poems

Did they get the messages I wanted for them?

Did they only marvel at the rhyming of words?

Or would they ever understand that I am loosing myself?

I wish I could open all my doors but the screw aren't loose

Even in therapy I am scared of being misjudged too

Back to bottling it all with caps on

But how long can I have all this in?

Decade of my life blurred now in sight

I wish I could sit with people who know me, insight

I want them close and far at the same time, my folks

Like a lone wolf, a wolf who has to walk alone