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Little Cottonwood

An evening up-canyon

By Abram KimballPublished about a year ago 1 min read
Top Story - November 2022
44

Last night, in a high canyon, I watched the sun set.

This mouth of the earth opened wide, jaws distended,

As though it wished to swallow the sky’s amber hues whole.

The void like conifer silhouettes on ridges

Looked all the world like the barbed obsidian teeth

of an ancient serpent’s twisted mandible, gaping.

And as that burning chariot lowered slowly

the serpent drank the autumn twilight afterglow,

And next fixed its eyes, that I was too small to see,

on the moon coming into its ravenous view.

It devoured them all

Body after body.

Again and again,

Evening unto evening

No belly ever full, no horizon picked clean

A lost descendant of that long gone god killer

An ouroboros of flora, fauna, and sky.

surreal poetry
44

About the Creator

Abram Kimball

Hi there! Thank you for visiting my profile. I hope it's becuase you like something I wrote. I am fairly new to this, so critique is welcomed.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  3. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  4. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  5. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (17)

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  • Geraldine Swainabout a year ago

    A lovely poem, well crafted, with lots of vivid imagery. I felt I was there and had some very visceral images. Good all round poem

  • Peter Majarabout a year ago

    Wonderful prose brought me to your vision.

  • Hannah Arianna Ashtonabout a year ago

    love your word choice here! enchanting

  • M. Fritz Wunderliabout a year ago

    I know exactly where that is, and live two minutes from the canyon! Great poem, captured the canyon really well.

  • Miles Penabout a year ago

    Awesome! Check out mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Fiona Howellabout a year ago

    Very vivid! I enjoyed it. :)

  • Joe Nastaabout a year ago

    I love this poem!

  • Villaabout a year ago

    your story very best please read my story & subscribe me https://vocal.media/journal/the-accounts-that-don-t-get-perused

  • Cheyenne Sageabout a year ago

    Love your metaphors and descriptions, the snake was an excellent visual choice. Mysterious and cool. Check out some of my work too! I love description it’s one of my favorite parts haha. Keep writing you have something and you knoww ittt.

  • Abram Kimball (Author)about a year ago

    Thank you all for your kind comments! It has really encouraged me to put more of my work out there. I hope to share more soon!

  • Nice 👍❤️

  • JBazabout a year ago

    Absolutely wonderful. So descriptive.

  • Savannah Martinez-Uhlerabout a year ago

    This is lovely and makes me miss this canyon more than I already did.

  • Sean Bassabout a year ago

    Beautiful, I don’t think I’ve ever come across ouroboros before, inspired choice

  • Dawn Saloisabout a year ago

    Excellent imagery!

  • Brittany Nelsonabout a year ago

    I can see a time-lapse reading this :) Awesome!

  • Cathy holmesabout a year ago

    excellent imagery. Very well done. I absolutely love this.

  • This comment has been deleted

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