Let Me Run Away

It took so long for me to break free,

Even if it's just temporary.

A few days of respite,

As the therapist prescribed.

Why?

Why take so long to do something you need?

Oh, the fear.

What would my parents think,

Is this another quitter, escapist moment?

(Pisces trait, oops)

What would my in-laws think?

That I'm "forever running away" to my parents

When I'm clearly not even with them now.

So I told a few white lies,

Covered my tracks

Nothing too far from the truth

Because I hate lying.

A secret I shared with a few

Who understand.

Even my mother & mother-in-law don't know

For they will not understand how I can do something,

That they never dared to do for themselves

In their time.

Too late for them,

But I don't want it to be too late for me.

I may not return from this temporary escape

With any clarity of clean from toxicity,

But these few precious moments of doing nothing,

Or doing something for myself,

Are those I'll treasure,

Be grateful for

That I get to reset myself

Until I want to...

Run away again.