Let It Go

What I hear and what you mean

Aren’t necessarily the same

🔥💥🗣️💥🔥

I let go

My hold on this second starts to slip

A lifetime forgotten

Inverted, internal injuries unseen

Jagged nails scratching at exposed nerves

Lightning pangs illuminate past pain

Feeling the incision for the very first time

🔥💥🗣️💥🔥

I let go

Releasing the pent-up screams

No longer anesthetized to reality

Begging for help

I waft through the space, ethereal, unheard

🔥💥🗣️💥🔥

I let go

Delivering the quavering cloud of regret

Lung-paralyzing cries

A siren’s wailing, a circular intake of

The limited air, thick with grief

🔥💥🗣️💥🔥

I let go

Sure my despair has cremated

Every living entity in a three-mile square

Yet, when sense returns

Sunlight and birdsong stream in upon me

🔥💥🗣️💥🔥

I let go

Putting edgy fingers on the keys

Dwindling rage escaping

Transforming to symbols on the screen

Finally dissipating, gone from me

🔥💥🗣️💥🔥

Deflated and drained, insinuating words echo

Let it go, let it go, let it go

Pumping myself up

In preparation for the next run-through

K.B. Silver

Recovering repressed memories means finding new things to be angry at all the time. I have to live through parts of my life as if for the first time and work through them for the most part alone. There is no way for me to take the issue to that person and work it out, even for the minor problems that could have been discussed and a resolution reached. I don’t know these people anymore, and the ones I do, I can’t ever be in contact with again.

So I have to process each set of memories as they come, which for me includes writing about it, using movement and music therapy, crying, and sometimes even calling for help. Expressing things I never got to at the time I needed. I have been going through this process so I can get myself to a point where my body feels safe again. It has been tiring, but it has been working for me.