Lawrence

Have you ever been surrounded by a sea of TVs?

Thousands of squares playing little memories

Clouding my mind and pulling my sheets

Making my toenails feel too big for my feet

But in this mosaic of doubt

There is hope still

Just so long as I have my will

And even though I am fighting

Kick

Slap

Punch

My red eyes refuse to swell shut

There's a horrible restlessness in my gut

It won't say what it wants

It just wants out

***

Oh

Hello good memory

Please don't leave

I shut my eyes tight and the scene is retrieved

Wasting time at work

Learning to draw

A man next to me asked for a portrait with awe

It was the first time I drew someone and when I was done

His face lit up with a smile

He took it home to his mum

Shortly after this

He invited me to his church

Said I could play my djembe and show them how it worked

I never did go

I almost forgot this man's name

Now here we are

Full circle

Right back to shame