Last Moment

I dare not speak

Nor do I dare allow your touch

The secret that I keep

Is that sometimes I love too much.

I once let myself go

Allowed myself to believe

Gave love room to grow

Only to be deceived.

The pang of guilt resides deep within

Pain festers deeper than a single knife

The emotions I feel, a reminder of sin

What if I only ever bring strife

I look back at him and I

And wonder if the problem was me

Even knowing I really did try

My demons just make it too hard to see.

Truth be told in the here and now

I long for so much more

There's things I'll never again allow

My heart is no longer a revolving door.

I long for gentleness upon my skin

Flowers given for no reason

I long to lean deeper in

I long to be remembered in every season.

Yes I recoiled within your arms

But only because It felt undeserved

I didn't mean to I was just alarmed

The attention you gave me felt unearned.

I long for the lovers song

For good morning texts or calls

For the desire for love to be strong

And for someone to be there when I fall

In desperate longing this i hold

In all you give i will mirror and multiply

In your actions I will fold

Even though at times i may beTerrified

In those times I do recoil or flinch

Know that it's not because of you

It's not so easy for me to flip the switch

Even though I can feel the truth.

I ask for forgiveness before we start

And i ask for patience in rhythm and rhyme

I promise i am working on my broken heart

It's just taking time.