Lament for my brother

Where do I start?

My thoughts are more than my words.

My heart is hurting—

so much pain, this grief is taking me over.

The loss of my dear brother left me

completely broken.

It feels like I’m gasping for air,

I can’t breathe, now that he’s gone.

He left when I thought he’d always be here,

but death took him from me

way too soon.

Oh, how I miss him.

I miss his smile, his voice, his laugh.

I miss his presence

and the talks we used to have.

Sometimes grief cuts so deep

it feels like I’m losing my mind.

Only God’s love, grace, and mercy

are keeping me sane,

holding me together

like an anchor to a ship.

You know loss after loss.

How do I move forward?

First my brother,

then my aunt.

How do I move forward

when my whole world is collapsing,

falling apart?

It is hard to look ahead,

to move forward in life

when your heart and grief

are all you think about.

I misplaced my Bible the other day

and felt like I was going crazy.

When I’m hurting, lost, and broken,

I fill myself with God’s Word—

it calms my soul and comforts my heart.

The Word of God is like medicine

to a broken heart and spirit.

I keep myself rooted in the Word of God;

reading the Bible gives me hope

and comfort,

strength to face another day.

I’ve cried a river of tears

since the loss of my brother.

It’s been months since his passing.

This pain hurts like nothing I’ve felt before—

like a sharp knife cutting my flesh.

The pain is too real,

too deep.

It hurts like hell.

The day of his funeral—

the hardest day of my life.

Goodbye never felt so real.

I buried him.

Saw him for the very last time

in his coffin.

His face was different.

He looked different.

It was so hard to view his face

in those few seconds,

so painful,

so unreal.

His death left me shattered.

I can’t explain exactly how I’m feeling—

this kind of pain leaves you speechless,

the pain too deep to comprehend.

And all I’m thinking out loud is:

God, I really need You right now.