Just Asking

So gentle with my

Questioning

Yet your silence

Is violent

In its

Length

And intensity

Ominous in its

Finality

Good luck with

Reality

K.B. Silver

One of the biggest hurdles to communication I have found as an Autistic person trying to fit into the community at large is getting my questions answered. Because I cannot read the unspoken social cues, I have to ask for an explanation for many statements that, to neurotypical people, mean something specific, but to me, are meaningless. Or, more specifically, they mean the words they are saying out loud, but hold no additional significance, which is the problem.

The most frustrating thing in the world is to execute a set of instructions flawlessly and to be told you have failed. That the instructor did not want A,B,C; they actually wanted D,E,F. Repeating the instructions back, pointing out they specifically asked for A,B,C, and if they had asked for D,E,F, I would have executed the task with equal care and dedication, only generates anger and punishment.

This is not a challenge or a sign of rudeness. It is, in fact, the opposite; I very much want to comply and to understand, but I need more information. It is only possible to complete a task I know the directions for. In my experience, when asked to clarify questions, directions, or positions, most people react very poorly.

Opening lines of dialogue, whether spoken or written down, on what each of us wants and expects in any given situation or interaction, is critical to a more inclusive environment, whether at home, in school, or at work.