Joy’s Absence

What I didn’t know I was experiencing was grief 
Idle hours transformed into emptiness 
With each attempt I could not reach relief 

My mind chased comfort that always seemed brief 
Caught between walls of self and less 
What I didn't know I was experiencing was grief 

I had visions of a life full and sweet 
Immersing myself in destructive side quests 
With each attempt I could not reach relief 

Unidentified cries for more and more peace 
Coupled with intense desires of rest 
What I didn't know I was experiencing was grief 

Timepiece’s arms exhausted, time thief 
Borrowed from Peter but left Paul a mess 
With each attempt I could not reach relief 

The absence of joy laughs a dark motif 
At least I survive, at best 
What I didn't know I was experiencing was grief 
With each attempt I could not reach relief