It Would Be Sweet

I loved you before I even knew what love meant

now,

I know

and now,

I know I wish I hated you

It really is sad

how much control you have over my happiness

you're the puppeteer of my heart strings

I wish I loved myself enough to hate you

Tell me why I would never

let anyone else

even close enough to hold me,

let alone drop and break me

is it weird that I don't mind

when you break my heart?

risking myself almost feels justified

for you

you always hear people say,

it’s better to have loved and lost,

but baby,

I’ve been lost in the idea of loving you

since we first met

my pain is encapsulated in euphoria

and that’s a pill called you

I never knew what love was

the definition is

synonymous with your name

synonymous with pain