It Wasn’t...

by Tiffany Trevino about a year ago in heartbreak

But Because...

It Wasn’t...

It was never about sex because to be quite honest you were like on a quest to sleep with everyone.It wasn’t because we shared memories because several others had similar ones.

It wasn’t because I wanted to be proud to have you because you were never really just mine.

It wasn’t because I had to have you, because I did great without you.

It wasn’t because I missed you, because you didn’t treat me all that great, and I didn’t miss the name calling and the yelling for me to SHUT THE FUCK UP! When you got caught up in lies.

It wasn’t because I was stupid to take u back each time u cheated and lied, to show u that u can get away with it.

It’s not the reason I stayed all these years

It was because at some point in our relationship you showed me your true self and how amazing and committed you can be that makes me stay.

It’s the fact that we have two lives we made together that deserve the most between us.

The reason you became a reason in my life because you took on two lil girls and their problems to prove to me that this was what you wanted.

It’s because I truly love you as a man I know u could be and would love to see how far you go in life.

It’s because the family we created together deserves to have a bigger future.

I am NOT obsessed with you because I know without you I would Be great because of the lives I have to raise. I am NOT obsessed because I choose to work harder at this relationship than you are.

But that’s the thing no one should work harder in a relationship if it’s a future they both want.

You cannot live your life lying and cheating and scamming people as you go because then you lose more pieces of yourself and get lost in who you are and what you want.

I wasn’t bad to you, I made sure everyone was taken care of except myself.

I let you belittle me just so u could feel superior in your life you can’t get right.

I love you and that’s a fact but don’t ever confuse love with obsession when my “wasn’t” are reasons why no one should obsess with someone who treats them poorly.

You point blame for your mistakes and try to misconstrue your way of seeing things.

You never take responsibility for your actions because no one ever let you.

I was heartbroken, not crazy, we spent years fighting off all your temptations and you let them in each time and expected me to stay. I did. Why? Because of my hope and faith I have in you.

But that’s my burden letting you tear and knock me down till I was weak enough for you to get comfortable to take advantage of me and let others do the same. You say you have a good heart but you have it for others just not me. I want you to remember all the times you’ve been caught and how u pointed blame to me.

No one can be blamed for someone else’s actions. You as a person live day by day choosing what the right choice to make or if risking it all would be worth another number to your belt to brag about to your friends.

You're blinded by temptation and you're destroying yourself and your image.

Instead of being known as a great man your known as a guy who loves attention and will go to ends meet to get it no matter the consequences. For every action is a reaction I’ve been told and actions speak louder than words, you fail to see how your actions cause a shift in your family's balance and how you will be to blame for the downfall over a number on your belt.

I wanted to break the cycle, I wanted to prove that we could do it and get past the negatives and when we reached our goal we could say we put all our strength in it and we made it.

So next time your action takes you down the wrong road know that I love you but your words hurt like daggers to the heart and that your words can forever linger in the mind.

heartbreak
Read next: I Am A Bullet.