It was never you

TW: Emotional abuse, intimidation, and domestic violence That's how it starts. Someone raises their voice, and the other person matches the energy, matches the tone. Promising it won't happen again. Thinking it won't escalate. Someone insults you. The person you trusted. The person you thought you knew. The one who takes your deepest insecurities and turns them into weapons. Like a mirror that doesn't just show you your wounds, but fires them back at you. Promising it won't happen again. Thinking it won't escalate. Then a trigger. A fist against the wall, and you're left wondering if they were aiming at you. They've done this before. Just not to you. Never to you. Regret. It will never happen again. Was it me? Surely I pushed too far. I said the wrong thing. Surely it's me. I'm too annoying. Too loud. Too needy. Too much. It won't happen again. So you swallow the pain. Pretend it never happened. Tell yourself you're safe now. And then, it happens again. And somehow, they've made you believe it was you all along. You know you said the wrong thing. You know you asked for the wrong thing. And still, it happens again. A little closer. A little scarier. But it was just the wall. And you think: People change. People deserve second chances. Except this wasn't the second chance. Except it's been too long. And you're tired. So tired. And they made you believe it was you. But it wasn't. And maybe you shouldn't have stayed. Because that's how it starts. And it wasn't your fault. It was never you. It was never you. And it wasn't love. That's how it starts. And it shouldn't.