Ipseity

Dear me, Ipseity,

is it the way I sink into the pan like a deglazed wine,

I’m so deglazed

I’m demoralized

I’m done with this pan, I lifted up

Floating around like a misted river—-

I ate through the metal

I think I’m too good for the heat

I can evaporate into the

Soft air,

The Ipseity of immortality that I believe

Humanity inherently creates,

The dramatic shake-up of mock-ups,

Shadow puppets of down to earth

Daring, sardonic, crazy smiling faces,

That feel like anger even though the words are calm and very easy-going,

All grasping to gain their attention

All good enough to keep their eyes shut

To the horrors of their inner wars

Not feeling their outer gravity,

Pulling us toward them,

Yet we all push each other away

The invisible pull of keeping our self-hood swooning, selfish,

So buzzy, busy, happy, miserable,

Deglazed and full of water and time and

Hours of nothing that we had in our grasp,

Sinking into our big pan of hot metal,

As we try to create ourselves out of a beautiful space, for our false start to stop, our new one as something truly…

Defined

Carefully

A deep personal

Cut out corner of you,

Sliced up and down

Grated and gutted, pre-interpreted like your words were wrongly colored with your raw trauma(and everyone saw through you like a cloud), sewn up as you were stuffed with the flowers you made necklaces as a kid,

Then deglazed….