Intrusive Thoughts

My thoughts come at me like a freight train and I’m stuck on the tracks. I try to run but my feet sink down like quicksand. Cement shoes holding me in place to shine a light on all the ways I’m broken. Shattered like the slammed storm door. broken like my heart when he said he could never love someone who looks like me. Self loathing and disgust packed on my back, making me heavy. I want the voices to stop but they play again in my head. An endless loop of not enough, rolling over me like waves at high tide. I can feel myself drowning, slipping down into the dark. the silence makes the voices louder, sharper. Daggers to my soul, cutting me like the thousand cuts I inflicted on my own body. Red jewels of anger seeping out of the thin lines on my skin.