Inner child healing challenge💪🏼

The prompt is from here

“If you could write a letter to your younger self, what would you say?”

Dear Maya,

You did not abandon yourself. I did. I do.

I’m the one trying to please others, even in this exact platform that I write in.

I’m the one who’s compromising just so people would love me.

I’m the one who’s giving so much love, but does not get that same love in return.

I’m the one who hasn’t changed.

The one who’s been trying to, since 4 years ago, since 2022.

I’ve disappointed you. I know.

Through thick and thin you’ve been with me, through stormy days and shitty experiences.

You’re the one who pulled away from society just to try to understand yourself better.

I’m the one stuck in mental loop for years.

You’re the naive one.

I’m the broken one.

You’re the sad girl who’s also the happiest ever.

I’m the entirely sad girl who flourishes online but is silencing herself in real life. The quiet girl.

You were the funny girl trying to gather up some love through making her friends happy.

You also were delighted to make others feel good. We still have that.

You were brave.

I am not.

You were authentic.

I’m… not fully authentic.

A dentist that I know for years called me “cute” for the fact that I hopped on a bus, instead of my parents taking me to places.

Even though I manage on my own since teenagehood. Wait, from childhood, really.

You, for example, went straight from piano class to our house when it was dead dark outside, running in fear all the way home.

You were young.

I can learn a lot from you, honestly.

But I’m afraid because the trauma never ends.

I wrote a log about how I love my dad and all that.

I do not.

The man has tortured me psychologically and sometimes physically along with the person who presents herself as “my mom”.

Yes, I loved him. Even when I wrote that log.

But too many lines have been crossed. Lines, that you shouldn’t have experienced from where you still are, in the cold, dark terrain of my inner world.

That is sometimes happy, joyful, blissful. Lighted up.

But it’s chaos inside. And you are my light. We, are.