In My Dreams

the sleeplessness prevailed like it did for so many older adults

but added to it was my multitude of health problems

sleep visited but yet it was fleeting

But I Had A Secret

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each time it returned it bought me pieces of a dream

I didn’t know what it meant

yet it came and went again

But I had a secret

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in dreams it bought back memories of a healthy me

but when I woke up, I was a broken version of myself

yet it came and went again

But I had a secret

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I dreamed in pieces of life that I cherished

the happy times that I shared

when I would awaken, I would feel the tug on my abdomen

But I had a secret

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it was unsettling that I would feel the oxygen in my nose

and feel my intestines that protruded out of my abdomen

I was no longer the person that I was

But I had a secret

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I missed the person I once was

I held close the cherished memories that revealed, whom I was previously

we have to expect with age our lives will change, with loss of our physical abilities

I would sleep to escape the reality of my broken body with a deep sleep that I enjoyed

when I would awaken, I would work on acceptance of the new broken person I had become physically

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