I'm Still Processing...

I'm still processing what you did;

Still remembering the haunting sound of your

voice,

Still feeling the punches as if they were still

happening,

And,

Still processing the silent tears that fall,

When nobody is watching.

They tell me I'm recovered;

Maybe I am,

But even recovery doesn't mean completely

healed.

I hide my scars,

My pain,

So that nobody can see or hear them.

I smile every day,

While still bleeding tears in my heart.

It's not always like this;

Some days when I wake up,

I'm genuinely happy,

Other days,

I'm happy on the outside,

Sad on the inside.

I am this way,

Because,

I'm still processing the trauma,

And trauma leaves memories,

That cannot be erased,

That cannot be taken away,

Even after many years of therapy.