Im sorry

Dear Me,

I’d like to apologize for letting the past keep a VIP membership to my nervous system. It has overstayed its welcome, eaten all the snacks and somehow still convinced me I’m the problem. Bold of it, honestly. I’m sorry, for calling this “strength” when it was really just me white knuckling life like a grocery bag one tear away from disaster. To my kids, I owe you an apology too. For trying to be a 1 woman emotional support team instead of just asking for help like a mentally ill person. You deserve a mom who doesn’t treat healing like an optional side quest. And to 6yo me, babygirl no. Absolutely not. We are not doing that anymore. I’m sorry you thought it was your fault,It never was. It wasn’t then, it isn’t now. if blame were a package, that one was “return to sender” Honestly I’d like a word with whoever let you carry that but for now, I’ll just take it off your hands. And me again, I’m sorry for taking this long to figure it out, in my defense, I’ve been busy surviving things. I should’ve never had to survive, so I think we can agree I deserve at least partial credit(or a really expensive Taco Bell trip). Anyway this is me apologizing and also gently revoking the past’s privileges. It no longer gets a speaking role.

yours truly,

Marley.

(doing better with snacks that are now protected.)