I Wish Us to Be Strangers Again

I saw your name yesterday.

On a postcard-

Or a notification-

Or at the bottom of one of the letters

You used to write me.

And I thought about the way

It used to taste on my tongue

When I called after you-

Or when I whispered it into a hug-

Or when someone asked me who I was thinking about.

You know,

I used to beg the stars to bring you back to me,

As if you were adrift in the cosmos.

As if the light-years had stolen your smile.

As if your eyes had been tucked away to replace the galaxy someday.

I used to wonder

How many snakes I would have to charm

Before I could learn to shed you like a past life.

Before I could find an antidote

To all the unwritten love letters in my veins.

How many more bricks did I need to add to Babel

To lose your name in translation?

How many Rosetta stones would it take

To stop historians from dubbing us “close friends”?

But I never found the ‘rewind’ button on my voice box.

I never found something sweet enough

To make your name taste sour.

I never found a rhythm that could throw our heartbeats out of sync.

They say it is better to have loved and lost.

Maybe because love doesn’t expire.

Maybe because everything is temporary anyway.

They also say that you never make the same mistake twice.

But I know that’s not true.

Because I kept choosing you,

Over and over,

Long after the stars had told me ‘no’.

Maybe this is an apology.

I’m sorry my heart broke like a promise

And not like a mare.

I’m sorry I reached for your hand

Before I knew what you were holding.

I’m sorry I fell for you

Like a maple seed

Knowing I could be so much more

Once I reached the ground.

But this is also a wish.

Because I hope you see my name, too.

And remember how it shook your vocal cords.

I hope it startles you enough

To pull your irises back from the heavens.

I hope your breath catches for just a second-

Just a moment in time

That throws our heartbeats

Out of sync

Again.