I Will Rest

Each and every morning, I will open

my bedroom window

and I will greet

the morning light.

I will let it wash over my face, I will

open my mouth and let it travel

down my throat and

into my limbs and

through my veins and

I will feel its warmth illuminate me from the inside out.

I will see the morning light’s

soft tint on my skin

and I will find myself saying

wow,

here is my skin,

what beautiful skin this is…

how lucky I am to get to live in this skin.

And each and every morning, I will rest knowing this:

that the morning has come, and I am in it.

You will not find me in yesterday, and I cannot yet be in tomorrow, but

here, in this morning, this is where I am.

_

Each and every morning, I will ask myself:

What is my resolution for today?

Because

I am allowed to change day by day.

My mind is not meant for a pitch-perfect routine -

a rhythmic agenda that doesn’t miss a beat.

No,

my needs and emotions shift

far too often to know

what each day will hold

and what I will need in

each new day

and that is okay with me…

_

I will learn to love the parts of myself that are human

(that is to say, all of me).

_

In fact, each morning, when I watch

the morning light rest softly on my skin,

perhaps I will let that

remind me of just

how very human I am.

_

I will let myself rest in this: I am a human, no more and no less.

_

And so my resolution might change each day -

one day to climb to the top of a hill,

another day to wash my hair

to eat three meals

to say something kind to myself

or to find new hope.

_

I know that if I pause for a moment

(and quietly listen)

I will be able to know what I need,

at least for that day.

One thing I hope to

be sure of

each day

is that I am me, I am not them...

I hope that even inside

my most treasured

relationships, I will hold

a sacred separation,

to give both I

and the other

the dignity of being

fully ourselves.

...

I would like to picture

each day

a beautiful hedge of vines

surrounding myself and

all that I am.

And in this sphere I hold all that I own -

my thoughts,

my feelings,

my points of view...

my values,

desires,

strengths and

ideas...

that is to say, all of the things I have the privilege of

having

ownership of.

Later in the day, when it is dark and time for me to rest. I will be able to

let

myself

rest.

Because I will say to myself -

me and the light,

we have had this

whole and

wonderful

waking

day together.

And we will be together again tomorrow.

And since I

fully felt the light today

(and let the sun rinse out my soul entirely)

I can rest knowing that

this day was fully spent, and

I can let it be.

And each and every night,

I will say

thank you

for the soft linen pillow that cradles my head,

for the bed that holds me,

and for the white noise machine

on my bedside table that

lulls me

shushes me

gently to sleep.

I will think to myself, how lucky am I to have

a pillow

a bed

a white noise machine

and a mind to think of all of these grateful thoughts.

_

Because, lastly,

each and every day this year,

(and each and every night)

I will rest in moments of gratefulness,

and by feeling grateful

I will find new rest.